She was losing herself to this man, losing all will to resist him, wanting him on such a basic level, that it would have terrified her, had she been more aware."Iris!" her father's call from somewhere inside the house, caused her to pull away from the man."I have to go," she gasped.He loosed his hold on her a little but not entirely as his lips left hers and he looked down into her flushed face, and half closed, smouldering eyes.She thought that he would release her, but he continued to hold. Shana had lied too many times to be trusted by any one but a mother. After a long talk the teenager promised not to lie or be late again if she could help it.It was that promise that helped Karen reluctantly agree to let Shana go out with her latest fling tonight -- last night to be completely accurate. It was morning now, after all. On the other hand, the girl was 18. High school now behind her, collage looming ahead. It was the last summer she was likely spend with her friends. Karen should. " She smiled. I like the smile.I did my shower and shave routine, making sure that this time I brought my clean clothes with me since I was not alone in the room any more.I let the stream of hot water soak the funk off me, all the while thinking about morality as taught me by my father. I voluntarily took on a responsibility with Carlita.In Dad's terms, "You brought it home. You fed it. You owe it something now." He applied it to strays. I saw many a dog come and go. Dad had an immense heart. I had all this feelings of becomingsomeone else, mostly women. But I didn't let anyone know. I buried themwith in myself. But lately it got so hard keeping all those feelingswithin me. So I wrote that essay. And I thought Mr. Paulson wouldn'ttell anyone. But he did."His words reminded her of what she had undergone. All those feelings ofdesire, shame, fear, not knowing what's right and wrong. It was hell.She didn't know what to do with Jake now. She could just pretend to behis sister. As far as.
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